byebye.

怎么走的彻底，那么难？
在眷恋吗？有什么好留恋的？
好像都没有。好像也没什么好可惜的。

所以，因该只是习性作祟。因为太习惯了。因为太相信这回事。
两个星期，就两个星期。彻底洗底。

没有眷恋，没有遗憾，没有不舍，就这样。

或许，现在只需要接受不是暴走。事情好像还蛮顺的。我也不问为什么了。

不重要了。；）

9月7日，阴天，午后。

用今天，审视过去。

二十几年的履历。从开始就为了比赛（各式各样的，并包括考试）

到了今天，我好像还在为那份平庸得分的考卷，留校自习。

在别人眼里的蠢小孩，现在变成了别人和自己眼里的苯蛋。

早就习惯了，没有任何奖牌会为了平凡，为了别人看不见的汗泪而设。

别傻了，我怎会不懂善意的笑容，眼神，话语 想要表达的不忍心。

我都懂，这是个毫无耐心又要求世人有耐心的地方。

做得好与否，跟评议客观主观与否的关系与问题，我没有答案。

我没有足够的智慧给自己答案。

我惟有不停的审视过去，留校自习。要求自己更努力。

对于自己的无能，不想给自己理由，好多时候又手足无措。

不是无病呻吟，只是想找回掉进烧烤炉的心。

你的心呢？暴走了吗？还是找到了？

演唱会

一场演唱会，展现了万分光芒。无论台前幕后，台上台下，每个人都是主角。

手牵手，我的朋友:)

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顺便发花痴一下：

认真玩音乐的男生，好帅。

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他看见站在椅子上的胖子。

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其实阿信咧嘴笑，很可爱。

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sianz. i want to continue the post from yesterday but my com just c!#k up so i cant post in chinese. so bear with my broken english.

The concert kicked off with a mini 'movie'. This movie is divided into different segments and were shown during periods when the band moved to change clothes or have a break.

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the movie could be summarised this way, that the guys from the band are sick with their lives which repeats itself day after day. they want a world where there is a possibility that everything could be different/better. Therefore they stole Frida's, Ghandi's, John Lennon's DNA (cos, as we all know Beatles is Mayday's fav band and DNA is the name of this concert, in which the main idea is to 'change DNA and create a better world') and cloned these people who stood for world peace and generally good things.
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There was also a giantic cell which stood at the center of the stage where graphics were played on. The lighting (by the Japs, forgot their names, not to sterotype but you can kind of equate quality for made /by jap stuff...like my muji bag hahahaha) for this concert made many of the photos taken stood out as shown above.
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The crowd went wild as the band sang 'motor rock' with guanyu 'crashing the taxi into the stage when he drove the band off after stealing DNA in the movie and the screen which the movie was projected on came down to reveal the stage.

It was more than 3 hours of sing-along and jumping up n down and on the seats with our light sticks thereafter. Even during the slower ballads, everyone was just having fun singing-along and dancing. Its my first time being in a concert where everyone in the stadium stood up for the entire length of the concert (except the filler parts, everyone sat to recover from excessive clowning around with the band) i have to say that it was great to feel involved in a concert as compared to just going to a performance watching it, be awed and go home.

at one instance, ashin had to ask everyone to go back to their own seats because everyone went to the platform where stone and him walked to. but he only did that so that 50 audiences could find under their own seats tickets to take photos with them after the concert...BACKSTAGE.

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and boy, singaporeans can sing hokkien songs quite well! the band sang 'peter and mary' in a i dunno 'plug in?!?' new version. 'hosee' and 'call me no.1' which were damn high. and also 'gong lang','rubbish truck' and 'chu tou tian' and everyone knew the lyrics!

i really liked was the medley of 'crazy world', 'migratory birds', 'john lennon','an apple'.

Of cos, 'aiqing wan sui''god of gamblers','terminating loneliness','sunwukong','zhizu','renshenghaihai','wen ruo','yongbao','jue jiang'.'tian shi','you're not truly happy','ru yan','shengchun yishang shenghuo yixia','interview with the vampire','spring scream' were sang

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at one point after individual speeches (guang yu was the last guy to give his), ashin went to play the drumset with guanyu singing as the lead vocalist. and he was teased later on by ashin who asked the audience, if guanyu were to have his personal concert would anyone come and he shook his head and said do not watch it when the audience replied yes to his question.

and ashin made everyone in the audience hold hands (and repeat his, 'would u lend $$ to ur friend whose hands you're holding now in the time of need/ would u borrow $$ from the friend who is holding ur hands now when you need it/would you support ur friend if he decided to have a personal concert, which drew laughter) and sang 'xiao wang ge' which if i remember correctly modulated to 'rubbish truck'.

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The band including the backup vocalist, keyboard player were given time to perform solo. i was quite impressed with the keyboard player known to me as Mr Chou who played flight of the bumble bee in his segment and of course in accompanying some of the ballads and making sound effects throughout the concert .

and i found that i really like the bass sounds (due to playing tuba for a few years...many years ago i assume.....zzzz) so natually i liked masa's segment. stone n monster had the spotlight on them individually with monster showing off the speed at which his fingers could move to change chords. and guanyou played what i thought was a sophisticated arrangement on the drumset.

masa had an add-on solo segment in which he played acostic guitar...sighed a little (cos he had to sing) and sung 'mingbai', one of my favs.
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lian-ai-ing. yup, they played the game again. i think it'll become a mayday tradition. and before they lead the audience in making the letters, ashin 'cried' and jokingly said that the fans have all 'changed heart' to become fans of other taiwanese boy bands/groups..and 'even went to sodagreen's concert' therefore he's just going to just 'anyhow' sing a jazz version of the song and to 'punish' the audience, he refused to sing the last word of the song and left the stage.......

jokes. the audience asked stone to take off his top and he did it......... half way XD.....and when the audience kept asking the band to dance because they danced in the mv for DNA. (check out youtube, its not the official mv, its the concert mv), ashin said quit asking me to dance, you are the ones (pointing to some audience) who went to support fahrenheit. lol

the last bit of the game was finished and eventually, ashin asked about the time and sung 'aiqing de moyang' and 'chutoutian' to wrap up the concert.

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i had loads of fun. didnt want it to end. actually i have mixed up concert sequence n repertoire due to my fuzzy brain. but point is, i enjoyed myself and i believe so did everyone else.

you can see how serious these people are with their work when you saw what was showcased at the concert. this was one of the best concerts i've been to. :)

why cant i post photos? sianz

lately....

给电影人的情书. a dedication to 100 years of chinese cinema.
the music is therapeutic. the lyrics are painfully beautiful.

《给电影人的情书(蔡琴)_电影之歌主题曲》
作词：罗启锐 作曲：李宗盛 演唱：蔡琴

多少人爱你遗留银幕的风采
多少人爱你遗世独立的姿态
你永远的童真 赤子的期待
孤芳自赏的无奈

谁明白你细心隐藏的悲哀
谁了解你褪色脸上的缅怀
你天衣无缝的潇洒 心底的害怕
慢慢渗出了苍白

你苦苦地追求永恒
生活却颠簸 无常 遗憾
你傻傻地追求完美
却一直给误会 给伤害 给放弃 给责备

何悲 何爱 何必去愁与苦
何必笑骂恨与爱
人间不过是你寄身之处
银河里才是你灵魂的徜徉地

人间不过是你无心的梦
偶然留下的梦 尘世梦
以身外身 做梦银亮色的梦
以身外身 做梦中梦

我最近的我：

《然后怎样》歌词
陈奕迅 - 然后怎样 + Hidden Message
作曲:曲世聪 作词:林夕
完成了所谓的理想 放纵了情绪的泛滥
汗都流干 天都微亮 然后怎样
拥有了旅行的空档 却遗失流浪的背囊
沿着轨道 一直流浪 然后怎样

假期过完 有什么打算
走过一个天堂 少一个方向
谁在摧我成长 让我失去迷途的胆量
我怕谁失望 我为谁而忙
我最初只贪玩 为何变负担
为何我的问题 总得等待别人的答案

我的快乐时代唱烂 才领悟代价多高昂
不能满足 不敢停站 然后怎样


人到了某个阶段，很容易患得患失。搞不懂在怕什么。
好嘛， 我就知道自己只是个：

跩不起来的假痞子，装很有精神的真胖子，偶尔贪玩然后又认真起来的老人家。

晚安咯。

关于说话

其实我不是没有话说，但又常常不想说或不敢说。

不想说的原因大概就是：
1）我跟你不够熟络
2）还没组织好想说的话
3）不想花心思去说服你
4）懒得去想你想听些什么

不敢说的原因也就只是：
1）觉得没有必要班门弄斧

跟我熟的人又会认为，我口无遮拦。
的确，很多时候我说一些事情很‘不经大脑‘

但其实，

1）我早就为这件事件有了自己的感觉，说出来会刺耳因为觉得修饰是造作的，虽然这也是一种礼貌。

（BUT,hello,你是真的想知道我想什么，还是只是想要我在言语上认同你?anyway,先理清你想听我pc还是想听我说我想说的）

我的’批判/悲观病‘是末期的，所说的又未必正确，话肯定不好听。也因为知道那是刺耳的所以不说。说了，得罪一堆人。问我意见前自己先想清楚要不要被泼冷水。

2）又或者我还没想到怎么回应所以，先唬弄你。

但我发觉，

我跟别人的对话不会因为对话说完了，就完全终止。
我还会在脑中针对我们刚结束的话题跟自己对话。
跟自己对话后，会想到更多可以探讨的事情。

但，我又不会再去找你重聊这个话题。我意识到这对你可能会是一种困扰。

所以，我喜欢白纸黑字。我可以慢慢想，慢慢说，然后再回来更新想说的。

我选择了

选择信仰音乐
别笑， 这有什么不可呢？

因为，

在无助的时候，它给我安慰
在愤怒的时候，它替我呐喊
在快乐的时候，它为我欢呼

音乐，从来没有令我失望过
倒是我，目前为止还不够了解它。

当音乐的名字变成自由的时候，听音乐是一种解放，是生存与生活的解药。