So pissed

I am so angry. I don’t know why I bother to write about this but. Anyway I have time now to whine about it.

I mean you would tell me the most obvious and logical thing is…not to be angry. Well, if it was that simple…it would be simply zen.

Truth is , you don’t have time to even count to ten…..because how to count to ten when you either want to fight back or run away? (aka sympathetic response)

I don’t know man. For my own sake I really wish that I am less angry. But I really feel that I am fish out of water. No matter how much I try to catch up I lag behind.

And then….someone, something will jump in to rush me. The main reason why I get frustrated I find is that I am out of sync with everything. I get tired but then there is so much stuff I want to do…..so much stuff that I have to do….

You know, I want to be cool headed too… I don’t enjoy losing my cool…..haix.

最近。。。

最近
感冒了。对抗无理大作战。

最近
朋友又长大一岁。不是才刚庆生吗？

最近
常常和路边的树叶击掌。阿叶，不错嘛那么绿，我也过得很不错。（其实想抱抱树。但怕被人嫌弃）

最近
想把世界拒于千里之外。（其实也不是最近而已）

最近
其实也没太大的不同。是上了书法课。但字也没变。因为没练。


最近
你呢？
祝君安康。

好不好

my impression of hokkien and min nan songs were that they are very ge tai and that are very sad and serious..maybe because most of the melodies were adapted from the japanese enka-s (plural is with s or es?!?!)

until i came across mayday's brand of min nan songs...the first one was rubbish truck, which celebrates friendship (in my opinion does better than 'peng you' by wakin chow although this is the standard Mandarin graduation from my generation..now i feel damn old)

and there was 'gong lang' which celebrates you being you.(ya, ok we are all losers sometimes and need encouragement, whats easier than to just pluck in ur ear phones for a booster shot of self cheering haha.. ;))

then when i suffered from mayday withdrawal symptoms after their concert and dug around their old tracks, i found this song. ho-mm-ho or hao bu hao in Mandarin.

its kinda lovesick if you look at it from one perspective.

to summarised, its just simply asking 'can i love you?'
the melody is also very simple. but it gets stuck. especially the part 'ho-mm-ho'. i'm always tempted to say 'ho' and add 'ok sure no problem.' haha.

i guess i like it although i cant get 40% of the lyrics through listening only because it conveys a very simple concept: 純粹. (everything in its simplest form)

shouldnt love be no more complicated than just giving..i guess so.

hope tt you enjoy this song as much as i do.

running away

sucks, i cant type in chinese text.

yup,

i ran away

i ran away not out of fear
i ran away not for the sake of freedom
i ran away not because i did not want to persevere

i ran away because i just had to do it.
i ran away because i know we'll not be missed mutually
i ran away because you ran away too.

we both ran away, we just didnt ran the same way.

哈批努也 ;)

说谎

说谎 要看是哪一种谎

可能是 经过包装的所谓真相
或许是 颠倒黑白的辩驳
谎的角色理由姿态 千百种

有时候 我想 真相到底是什么 到底有没有真相。
好像没有。 我认为 没有什么是有真假之分的

事情的原貌就是这样 是看到的人为它下定义。。

‘这是真的，一定是真的。 他真的爱我‘ 这样下定义直到 天荒地老。
天都老了，你也老了。骗谁呢？幸运的话，大家互骗一辈子。

为所有的人事物 下定义。
如果别人无法满足你的期待，无法实现他对你的意义， 他就是在欺骗你。
多霸道的想法。也挺人性化。
但 你有没有想过 他本来就是这样。 是你自己乱下定义。

如果有人要离开 别把这当成一中事感情的欺骗。 让他/她/它 走吧。
或许 有一天 他 会回来也许不会再见面。又有怎样。
有一天 每个人都要独自离开。
提早道别 至少他是活得好好地离开你的视线。

其实

其实，我为什么要跟你有争执？

口头冲突，我为需要目睹这些的人不值。
因为，你和我凭什么？

太无聊，也太难堪。

一个毫无内容的争辩。两个互看不爽又自我中心膨胀的人。

真的很难看。

从此，我不会再挖个坑让自己失礼，失望。所以我也失声于这里。

i'm getting over myself.