so said some wise guy tt the first impression counts. but u know how superficial tt really is? many impressionist are able to leave ppl with the impression tt they are super busy and in fact are only biochemically rushed. so, good impression is an ass saver. these impressionists are opportunist too. which guy won't take advantage of the impression you have of him? eg. u think I am but a jerk, fine so I am exempted from having to be considerate to you. or I am a doctor and you think I am awesome so, trust me on that pill which I am spokeperson for.

so what to the person who looks really free? can't he just be super efficient at his job n finish the same amount of work half the time you take? but sometimes efficiency is also affected by those around you. I miss the days where silence is the rule. yakking somehow became a social rule which you have to adhere to or risk getting branded a snoob. ppl with higher paper qualification comes to you lost and you wonder what gives you the right to play chaperone. then conveniently they either forget later or choose to snub you when someone snubs them for ur untimely(how dare u, unripen grape) so-called advice. I ain't bitter. just sober. and somehow I miss school where impressions counts but doesn't affect you if you are indifferent enough.

Good morning. I woke up being a year older today. No wait I did not sleep. The thing about the day you are born is that it sometimes makes you wonder, why you are still the same as last year? Are you?

this post probably cost a bomb. Cos i am using my phones 3g to write. Dumb right. I cant sleep its 2 in the morning. And i cant go on messaging my frens. Lest i get backlisted and block from their phones. All because of my game addict sibling. What should i be glad tt it is not something else tt he's addicted to? Nuts. Just nuts.

alvamar

i'm listening to the piece on youtube now..
must be from that concert last saturday. getting all nostalgic.
i really wished i was a good enough player to go on playing. i can only wish.


Those were really the best time i've had man. of course there were many ...painful happenings/regrets which took place but..its gone with the good things too. chuckle. nothing can be hold on too.

well to be fair, i enjoyed the concert and this is independent of my nostalgia.


i dreamt too much. too much for my own good. dreamt so much that i trapped myself in own dream...no its not the 'inception effect'.

anyway, i think people like this film because we've been shown too much lousy films with predictable plots. and when there is something slightly stimulating...people love it.

isnt tt the same with people. 'dumb' guys or ppl momentarily dumber than u piss u off and intelligent ppl stimulates u and gives you that 'wow, why didnt i think of that' effect. this is a mean statement....i know i have pissed ppl off for my stupidity and others to me. so, ya ignore my rumblings.


i wonder how much research it took to write 'HOUSE'. I watched 1 episode and is amazed by the script and the actors who were very convincing in their roles...'FRINGE' on the other hand...well,its just not my cup of tea.


work...is making me feel unsatisfied with myself.

i was reminded

now that i have words to describe it, maybe i can set myself free from this.

the words are 'i was so fervently protecting you that i forgot to see the person whom you really are'.

the crime has a statement to it now. i've been warned. i shall try not to fall into my own trap.

its not that i have nothing to do

in fact i have tonnes of stuff to do.

someone actually told me.. u work so much on this you should let it show.
let it show. the justification of me being here is this.

i knocked off at 12am yesterday. so i got to let it show?
show that i am really tired. physically, mentally tired. i know you dont want to know.

my threshold is just this. so insignificant as compared to the rest of the world.
Is this why i feel that i am just constantly fighting.
fighting to justify why i deserve a place at where i am at any age.

i am really tired. sometimes i can understand why people pull the trigger. but i also know enough that its not worth it.

this world has never been worthy enough for anyone to pull the trigger.never.

why am i writing and not doing the tonnes of stuff i have to do?

the stop whining and just do it theory? well when endurance is stretched up to a limit, better to loosen up a little...its not 'just do it' , its how to keep doing it that matters.

Regards to everyone out there whos been feeling lethargic

monologue

seek refuge in evanescent because everything is constantly changing.

you died too you know? your being 1 second ago no longer exist and you are dying now.

since everything is transient and nothing can stay as it is forever (plastic stuff are going to hang around i know) why get so attached?

why get so hang up over who did what stupid stuff? why get so attached to the memories be it painful or beautiful.

standing between the sky and the earth. you're just a speck of dust with thousand others sweeping through the cosmos, a forgettable event in the history of the universe or no history at all.

either way...dear 'self' we're screwed and we aren't.

anyway, just learn to seek refuge in change. its the only thing that's unchange.