alvamar

i'm listening to the piece on youtube now..
must be from that concert last saturday. getting all nostalgic.
i really wished i was a good enough player to go on playing. i can only wish.


Those were really the best time i've had man. of course there were many ...painful happenings/regrets which took place but..its gone with the good things too. chuckle. nothing can be hold on too.

well to be fair, i enjoyed the concert and this is independent of my nostalgia.


i dreamt too much. too much for my own good. dreamt so much that i trapped myself in own dream...no its not the 'inception effect'.

anyway, i think people like this film because we've been shown too much lousy films with predictable plots. and when there is something slightly stimulating...people love it.

isnt tt the same with people. 'dumb' guys or ppl momentarily dumber than u piss u off and intelligent ppl stimulates u and gives you that 'wow, why didnt i think of that' effect. this is a mean statement....i know i have pissed ppl off for my stupidity and others to me. so, ya ignore my rumblings.


i wonder how much research it took to write 'HOUSE'. I watched 1 episode and is amazed by the script and the actors who were very convincing in their roles...'FRINGE' on the other hand...well,its just not my cup of tea.


work...is making me feel unsatisfied with myself.

i was reminded

now that i have words to describe it, maybe i can set myself free from this.

the words are 'i was so fervently protecting you that i forgot to see the person whom you really are'.

the crime has a statement to it now. i've been warned. i shall try not to fall into my own trap.

its not that i have nothing to do

in fact i have tonnes of stuff to do.

someone actually told me.. u work so much on this you should let it show.
let it show. the justification of me being here is this.

i knocked off at 12am yesterday. so i got to let it show?
show that i am really tired. physically, mentally tired. i know you dont want to know.

my threshold is just this. so insignificant as compared to the rest of the world.
Is this why i feel that i am just constantly fighting.
fighting to justify why i deserve a place at where i am at any age.

i am really tired. sometimes i can understand why people pull the trigger. but i also know enough that its not worth it.

this world has never been worthy enough for anyone to pull the trigger.never.

why am i writing and not doing the tonnes of stuff i have to do?

the stop whining and just do it theory? well when endurance is stretched up to a limit, better to loosen up a little...its not 'just do it' , its how to keep doing it that matters.

Regards to everyone out there whos been feeling lethargic

monologue

seek refuge in evanescent because everything is constantly changing.

you died too you know? your being 1 second ago no longer exist and you are dying now.

since everything is transient and nothing can stay as it is forever (plastic stuff are going to hang around i know) why get so attached?

why get so hang up over who did what stupid stuff? why get so attached to the memories be it painful or beautiful.

standing between the sky and the earth. you're just a speck of dust with thousand others sweeping through the cosmos, a forgettable event in the history of the universe or no history at all.

either way...dear 'self' we're screwed and we aren't.

anyway, just learn to seek refuge in change. its the only thing that's unchange.

So pissed

I am so angry. I don’t know why I bother to write about this but. Anyway I have time now to whine about it.

I mean you would tell me the most obvious and logical thing is…not to be angry. Well, if it was that simple…it would be simply zen.

Truth is , you don’t have time to even count to ten…..because how to count to ten when you either want to fight back or run away? (aka sympathetic response)

I don’t know man. For my own sake I really wish that I am less angry. But I really feel that I am fish out of water. No matter how much I try to catch up I lag behind.

And then….someone, something will jump in to rush me. The main reason why I get frustrated I find is that I am out of sync with everything. I get tired but then there is so much stuff I want to do…..so much stuff that I have to do….

You know, I want to be cool headed too… I don’t enjoy losing my cool…..haix.

最近。。。

最近
感冒了。对抗无理大作战。

最近
朋友又长大一岁。不是才刚庆生吗？

最近
常常和路边的树叶击掌。阿叶，不错嘛那么绿，我也过得很不错。（其实想抱抱树。但怕被人嫌弃）

最近
想把世界拒于千里之外。（其实也不是最近而已）

最近
其实也没太大的不同。是上了书法课。但字也没变。因为没练。


最近
你呢？
祝君安康。

好不好

my impression of hokkien and min nan songs were that they are very ge tai and that are very sad and serious..maybe because most of the melodies were adapted from the japanese enka-s (plural is with s or es?!?!)

until i came across mayday's brand of min nan songs...the first one was rubbish truck, which celebrates friendship (in my opinion does better than 'peng you' by wakin chow although this is the standard Mandarin graduation from my generation..now i feel damn old)

and there was 'gong lang' which celebrates you being you.(ya, ok we are all losers sometimes and need encouragement, whats easier than to just pluck in ur ear phones for a booster shot of self cheering haha.. ;))

then when i suffered from mayday withdrawal symptoms after their concert and dug around their old tracks, i found this song. ho-mm-ho or hao bu hao in Mandarin.

its kinda lovesick if you look at it from one perspective.

to summarised, its just simply asking 'can i love you?'
the melody is also very simple. but it gets stuck. especially the part 'ho-mm-ho'. i'm always tempted to say 'ho' and add 'ok sure no problem.' haha.

i guess i like it although i cant get 40% of the lyrics through listening only because it conveys a very simple concept: 純粹. (everything in its simplest form)

shouldnt love be no more complicated than just giving..i guess so.

hope tt you enjoy this song as much as i do.