visitor from a distant past

I don't know about you. but this piece sounds eerily beautiful. ghostly. you walked through time wrap ended up in a different time, in a victorian cafe. the guests are enjoying themselves, everything looks graceful. you're not part of the scene but then you're enjoying yourself quietly observing in a corner the things going on in the cafe.

its one of those pieces which u could form a story just by listening to it. what's your story like?

转载一些自己须要被提醒的事情

阿信 真實地活在這瘋狂世界
採訪撰文／杜嘉馨

心靈鍛鍊 是人類進化的最後一關

如果說了後悔　是不是一切就能倒退
回憶多麼美　活著多麼狼狽
為什麼這個世界　總要叫人嚐傷悲
我不能瞭解　也不想瞭解
我好想好想飛　逃離這個瘋狂世界──〈瘋狂世界〉

十年前，五月天阿信在舞台上唱著「活著多麼狼狽」，十年後的現在，活著對他來說是什麼樣的感覺？「我覺得後青春期比青春期更美好，在情緒上，自己比較能控制；財務上，也能去做自己想做的事。」儘管隨著年齡增加，許多人肩膀上的責任、負擔、壓力愈來愈重，阿信覺得還是可以慢慢去找到一個讓自己自由的方式，為自己保留一個任性的時間，「我們好不容易從充滿升學壓力的學生時期倖存下來，再也不必每天六點半起床、不必考試、聽大人的話，應該把握住現在，做一個快樂的大小孩。」
現在，就是阿信當年夢想中的美好年代，「我覺得自己很幸運，一直以來都是和最好的朋友做最好的事。」像五月天，以及 STAYREAL 品牌，阿信都是和高中時代的朋友一同合作。「高中時，每次我跟不二良留下來做教室佈置，就是我最快樂的時光。放學後我們就先去打球，然後吃冰，再開始做教室佈置到很晚才回家。我們現在做的事情其實和高中時沒什麼兩樣，只是規模變得更大了。」
五月天成團十多年，每一次的專輯、演唱會總是帶給歌迷驚喜和震撼，「班底是固定的，想法不是固定的，大家很熟，但還是會丟很不熟的想法出來」，與認識多年的好友作合作夥伴，阿信覺得最大的好處是「信任」，「信任就是最好的 cost down，能把夢想成本、情緒成本降到最低。」
關於「情緒」可能衍生的各種問題，阿信確實花了一段時間思考、體驗。「很多人過不去的不是財務、工作、命運，而是情緒。身處現代社會要餓死不容易，活著辛苦往往是情緒問題。」每天天氣不一樣，但是決定心情的應該是自己。阿信的理論是：人類花了幾億年進化，從海底微生物、爬蟲類……到成為人類，只剩下最後一個關卡，就是心靈的鍛鍊，不要讓外在的環境影響我們的情緒。這就是為什麼人類是溫血動物而非冷血動物，我們的體溫能保持恆定，不像冷血動物會受到外在氣溫影響而變化。


拯救世界的說明書

當 我和世界不一樣 那就讓我不一樣 堅持對我來說 就是以剛克剛
我 如果對自己妥協 如果對自己說謊 即使別人原諒 我也不能原諒──〈倔強〉

阿推的漫畫《超人巴力入》前言︰「社會的遊戲規則，是惡人訂的，由好人來玩！」這句話讓阿信印象深刻，覺得這是一則精準的預言。「如果我來寫一個拯救世界的說明書，簡單地說就是兩點：1.努力得到改變世界的權力。2.確定自己一直是好人。」問題難就難在第二點，權力使人腐化，而且好與壞往往也不是絕對的。「我覺得初衷很重要，想想當初的自己會怎麼看現在的自己。人很容易軟化，而且太容易被情勢所逼，就給自己一個軟化的藉口。」

its the small things

its the small things that matters? right. A series of small irritations can generate an out of porportion anger.

How did i do? I think i'm ok. I didnt scream at the subject of provocation just tell him what he wanted to hear. Go cut some membranes and then got distracted from sustaining my peace to a massive explosion of complaining and you've got it, anger.

well. its hard but i am going to get it slowly. i know its a tiny bit of improvement and i hsve a big room haha. training myself bit by bit. Point to self, dun even start complaining about the provocation, initiation in the first place.

;ife's too short for anger.

bored

didn't go jogging cos it's raining. ended up with packing my room. it's still not done yet and I am procrastinating. I slept for most part of today. just did not want to do anything. trip down to zoo wasn't as pleasant as expected cos was walking around with a stubborn headache. wonder where they r keeping the polar bears n other animals since they are not on exhibit. bored. listening to music. I haven't done jap homework but dun really care. rebelling, no mood no motivation. the effort-reward relation is just not there 100% effort may buy you 30% results. in local terms its called sianz lo. but seems like I am not even entitled to be sianz man, just started working life. haiz.

Patience..

Eason Chan is lucky in a sense that audience appreciates his voice enough to let him experiment with his music, hence his tracks as a little less mainstream and therefore has the liberty to talk about different things, in a different way. Yup i take music seriously even if its pop music. It the music of our time ya? dun discriminate between classical, romantic, pop, hip hop. Whats the point right?
This particular song hits a raw nerve. the lyricist's main theme is on love but its really talking about having patience for everything. and is in tune with a verse i really like from Rainer Maria Rilke:

I beg you…to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without ever noticing it, live your way into the answer… - Rilke




差不多冬至 一早一晚 還是有雨
its almost winter solstice and its raining day and night
當初的堅持 現已令你很懷疑很懷疑
you've start to doubt your perseverance already
你最尾等到只有這枯枝
thinking that you'd only be left with a rotten branch in the end
苦戀幾多次悉心栽種全力灌注
a few sad relationships you've given everything to make them bloom
所得竟不如別個後輩收成時
but someone else managed to harvest instead of you
這一次你真的很介意
you really take it badly this time round.
但見旁人談情何引誘 問到何時葡萄先熟透
others are talking about how good their lives goes on and asked how is your harvest coming along
你要靜候再靜候 就算失收始終要守
you've got to wait and wait some more. even if you fail again you need to hang on.
日後盡量別教今天的淚白流
in the future don't let tears you wept today be fruitless
留低擊傷你的石頭 從錯誤裡吸收
keep the rocks that were hauled at you and learn from your mistakes
也許豐收 月份尚未到
maybe time is just not right yet.
你也得接受 或者要到你 將愛釀成醇酒 時機先至熟透
you just have to accept it and maybe when you could brew wine from your grape vine the time might be just right.

part 2 is similar to part 1 and more focused on just love so i am too lazy to translate.

但當你智慧都蘊釀成紅酒
when your wisdom is brewed into wine
仍可一醉自救
you could down your wine to save yourself (too painful, need alcohol ;p)
誰都心酸過那個沒有
everyone had a bad day before. who doesn't. (so, its ok)

I just did a literal translation its not pretty enough cos my english sucks.

The lyricist used growing grape vines and brewing wine to talk about perseverance, patience. anyway, I had fun sharing to you... i dun know who's reading maybe no one but nvm, its my online journal for my self indulgence. haha. Hope you like it if you're reading and... have patience, its ok to have a bad day dont take it too seriously.

10000 hours theory

who's the guy who said that if u diligently do something ( eg practice the piano, solve maths problems) you be good, professional or even great at it. so what about doing..... useless paperwork for 10k hours? you get good at it of cos. but it's useless. it's required in the work place to have these proper documentation but it's useless for you. I subscribe to the u must do minor things well first because major stuff are made up of minor details school of thought. but then again, to put it crudely everyday u r just helping ppl clear the shit they do not want to do but have to do themselves... in the end you are good at clearing shit.

what's the deal?

practice hours of compassion to all transient beings. I hope I will eventually know patience and have peace.

looking at people from the moral everest

yes I got no love. you can condemn me for that from Everest
I will never be known as someone dearest. that's ok.
you can judge me from moral Everest. see if it makes a difference.
afterall, how can I expect you to be any different.
I have no love but I know enough compassion.

其实当所谓的关心听起来刺耳，是时候放手接受祝福感激当年的邂逅。
感激有人让你知道原来世界不只有一种自由。
或许了解以经变成一道鸿沟。
无所谓反正不被了解也可以只是别人幸福的理由。
诡异的是你不知道已走到遗憾的门口。

many times I feel that the gag-ment is not helping ppl become accountable for their life, for themselves. ya sure, land is scarce blah blah... all housing units should then be available to people looking to start a family together. so what if I just want to be a productive member of society, independent in my own right. the gah ment rather I have four kids all whom I have no resources to nurture, have an abusive husband, not work to drive the economy, dependent on handouts.(murphy's law)then can I so call own my own pad for the next ninty odd years.

you know, how much more ppl can achieve away from overprotective parent/parents or the abusive/dictative kind.... the very least is that for those who can't grow up or think for themselves, they will start doing so. those who are able to think and can't leave the house are damned to have their mental health assaulted for the Asian version of filial piety is sometimes just so ridiculous.

yes. of course I can rent. tts going to set my finances back couple of years before I can even think about going into the market. you know, gah ment, ppl like me who knows that we can only depend on ourselves, why aren't we allowed to start building our own nest sooner?. why should single ppl be penalized?

so said some wise guy tt the first impression counts. but u know how superficial tt really is? many impressionist are able to leave ppl with the impression tt they are super busy and in fact are only biochemically rushed. so, good impression is an ass saver. these impressionists are opportunist too. which guy won't take advantage of the impression you have of him? eg. u think I am but a jerk, fine so I am exempted from having to be considerate to you. or I am a doctor and you think I am awesome so, trust me on that pill which I am spokeperson for.

so what to the person who looks really free? can't he just be super efficient at his job n finish the same amount of work half the time you take? but sometimes efficiency is also affected by those around you. I miss the days where silence is the rule. yakking somehow became a social rule which you have to adhere to or risk getting branded a snoob. ppl with higher paper qualification comes to you lost and you wonder what gives you the right to play chaperone. then conveniently they either forget later or choose to snub you when someone snubs them for ur untimely(how dare u, unripen grape) so-called advice. I ain't bitter. just sober. and somehow I miss school where impressions counts but doesn't affect you if you are indifferent enough.

Good morning. I woke up being a year older today. No wait I did not sleep. The thing about the day you are born is that it sometimes makes you wonder, why you are still the same as last year? Are you?

this post probably cost a bomb. Cos i am using my phones 3g to write. Dumb right. I cant sleep its 2 in the morning. And i cant go on messaging my frens. Lest i get backlisted and block from their phones. All because of my game addict sibling. What should i be glad tt it is not something else tt he's addicted to? Nuts. Just nuts.

alvamar

i'm listening to the piece on youtube now..
must be from that concert last saturday. getting all nostalgic.
i really wished i was a good enough player to go on playing. i can only wish.


Those were really the best time i've had man. of course there were many ...painful happenings/regrets which took place but..its gone with the good things too. chuckle. nothing can be hold on too.

well to be fair, i enjoyed the concert and this is independent of my nostalgia.


i dreamt too much. too much for my own good. dreamt so much that i trapped myself in own dream...no its not the 'inception effect'.

anyway, i think people like this film because we've been shown too much lousy films with predictable plots. and when there is something slightly stimulating...people love it.

isnt tt the same with people. 'dumb' guys or ppl momentarily dumber than u piss u off and intelligent ppl stimulates u and gives you that 'wow, why didnt i think of that' effect. this is a mean statement....i know i have pissed ppl off for my stupidity and others to me. so, ya ignore my rumblings.


i wonder how much research it took to write 'HOUSE'. I watched 1 episode and is amazed by the script and the actors who were very convincing in their roles...'FRINGE' on the other hand...well,its just not my cup of tea.


work...is making me feel unsatisfied with myself.

i was reminded

now that i have words to describe it, maybe i can set myself free from this.

the words are 'i was so fervently protecting you that i forgot to see the person whom you really are'.

the crime has a statement to it now. i've been warned. i shall try not to fall into my own trap.

its not that i have nothing to do

in fact i have tonnes of stuff to do.

someone actually told me.. u work so much on this you should let it show.
let it show. the justification of me being here is this.

i knocked off at 12am yesterday. so i got to let it show?
show that i am really tired. physically, mentally tired. i know you dont want to know.

my threshold is just this. so insignificant as compared to the rest of the world.
Is this why i feel that i am just constantly fighting.
fighting to justify why i deserve a place at where i am at any age.

i am really tired. sometimes i can understand why people pull the trigger. but i also know enough that its not worth it.

this world has never been worthy enough for anyone to pull the trigger.never.

why am i writing and not doing the tonnes of stuff i have to do?

the stop whining and just do it theory? well when endurance is stretched up to a limit, better to loosen up a little...its not 'just do it' , its how to keep doing it that matters.

Regards to everyone out there whos been feeling lethargic

monologue

seek refuge in evanescent because everything is constantly changing.

you died too you know? your being 1 second ago no longer exist and you are dying now.

since everything is transient and nothing can stay as it is forever (plastic stuff are going to hang around i know) why get so attached?

why get so hang up over who did what stupid stuff? why get so attached to the memories be it painful or beautiful.

standing between the sky and the earth. you're just a speck of dust with thousand others sweeping through the cosmos, a forgettable event in the history of the universe or no history at all.

either way...dear 'self' we're screwed and we aren't.

anyway, just learn to seek refuge in change. its the only thing that's unchange.

So pissed

I am so angry. I don’t know why I bother to write about this but. Anyway I have time now to whine about it.

I mean you would tell me the most obvious and logical thing is…not to be angry. Well, if it was that simple…it would be simply zen.

Truth is , you don’t have time to even count to ten…..because how to count to ten when you either want to fight back or run away? (aka sympathetic response)

I don’t know man. For my own sake I really wish that I am less angry. But I really feel that I am fish out of water. No matter how much I try to catch up I lag behind.

And then….someone, something will jump in to rush me. The main reason why I get frustrated I find is that I am out of sync with everything. I get tired but then there is so much stuff I want to do…..so much stuff that I have to do….

You know, I want to be cool headed too… I don’t enjoy losing my cool…..haix.

最近。。。

最近
感冒了。对抗无理大作战。

最近
朋友又长大一岁。不是才刚庆生吗？

最近
常常和路边的树叶击掌。阿叶，不错嘛那么绿，我也过得很不错。（其实想抱抱树。但怕被人嫌弃）

最近
想把世界拒于千里之外。（其实也不是最近而已）

最近
其实也没太大的不同。是上了书法课。但字也没变。因为没练。


最近
你呢？
祝君安康。

好不好

my impression of hokkien and min nan songs were that they are very ge tai and that are very sad and serious..maybe because most of the melodies were adapted from the japanese enka-s (plural is with s or es?!?!)

until i came across mayday's brand of min nan songs...the first one was rubbish truck, which celebrates friendship (in my opinion does better than 'peng you' by wakin chow although this is the standard Mandarin graduation from my generation..now i feel damn old)

and there was 'gong lang' which celebrates you being you.(ya, ok we are all losers sometimes and need encouragement, whats easier than to just pluck in ur ear phones for a booster shot of self cheering haha.. ;))

then when i suffered from mayday withdrawal symptoms after their concert and dug around their old tracks, i found this song. ho-mm-ho or hao bu hao in Mandarin.

its kinda lovesick if you look at it from one perspective.

to summarised, its just simply asking 'can i love you?'
the melody is also very simple. but it gets stuck. especially the part 'ho-mm-ho'. i'm always tempted to say 'ho' and add 'ok sure no problem.' haha.

i guess i like it although i cant get 40% of the lyrics through listening only because it conveys a very simple concept: 純粹. (everything in its simplest form)

shouldnt love be no more complicated than just giving..i guess so.

hope tt you enjoy this song as much as i do.

running away

sucks, i cant type in chinese text.

yup,

i ran away

i ran away not out of fear
i ran away not for the sake of freedom
i ran away not because i did not want to persevere

i ran away because i just had to do it.
i ran away because i know we'll not be missed mutually
i ran away because you ran away too.

we both ran away, we just didnt ran the same way.